Dancing With the "Stars" is Back

I can't wait to watch Dancing With the "Stars" tonight so I can relive the glory days of when I was on a show with a bunch of people with actual accomplishments as if I was one of them. Well, to be fair, I'm a famous practitioner of reproductive arts, and that's not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes you really have to take a pounding. Of course, as I have stated previously, I am the only person in the history of the show to ever gain weight while on the show. That was hard and something we aren't really supposed to talk about here on Lake Lucille. It was all that darned junk food. I mean what else could cause that rapid of weight gain (in spite of vigorous exercise)? Anyhow, I really proved myself on that show by staying in as long as I did in spite of the fact that I moved like a pregnant yak. People were amazed I stayed on as long as I did against way better dancers.

That's me right after the show ended.